A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later, "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later... "Da-aaad...." "What??" "I'm Thirsty!Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!" Five minutes later......"DAAAA-AAAAD......" "WHAT!!" "When you come in to spank me...can you bring a drink of water?"

********************

One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking a small boy into bed. As she was about to turn off the light he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said " I have to sleep in Daddy;s room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

********************

During the Sunday morning service all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastors clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my mommy says it's a bitch to iron."

********************

Finding one of her students making faces at the others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped quickly to reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told tha if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and it would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."