A girl sent some potato chips to her pen pal in Liverpool,

England, her pen pal. He wrote this two days later:

Dear Martha,

Thank you for introducing me to potato chips, but they

make me fart and gives me diarea so I called the police

officer to go to your house. I told him you killed my two

brothers but at least let my sister Yvonne live, plus I

sent people to kill you! Tell all your friends that they

can give me things, but if I turn out allergec to them I'll

hunt them down, make everyone think they're criminals and

hire people to kill them.

From

Luther Grant IIV

P.S. You're going to die in twenty hours, so stay paranoid!