Actual test answers from various Hunstville, Alabama metro schools.

Q - Name the four seasons. A - Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q - What does "varicose" mean? A - Nearby.

Q - Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A - Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q - What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A - If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q - What happens to your body as you age? A - When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q - What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A - He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q - Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A - Premature death.

Q - How can you delay milk turning sour? A - Keep it in the cow.

Q - How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A - The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels - a, e,I, o and u.

Q - What is the fibula? A - A small lie.

Q - Give the meaning of the term "caesarian section." A - The caesarian section is a district in rome.

Q - What is a terminal illness? A - When you are sick at the airport.

Q - What does the word "benign" mean? A - Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q - What is a turbine? A - Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q - What is a Hindu? A - It lays eggs.