THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 vodka 35 scotch 48 double scotch 66 Mylanta

AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 channel surfing 66 napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "tongue" 25 "breakfast" 35 "She didn't set back my therapy." 48 "I didn't have to meet her kids." 66 "Got home alive."

AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY 17 a winning goal after the siren 25 sex in an aeroplane 35 menage a trois 48 taking over the company 66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 17

AGE IDEAL DATE 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in 25 "Split the cheque before we go back to my place." 35 "Just come over." 48 "Just come over and cook." 66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Las Vegas.

THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE DRINK 17 Wine Coolers 25 White wine 35 Red wine 48 Dom Perignon 66 Shot of Jack Daniel's with a Napkin chaser

AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 Need to wash my hair 25 Need to wash and condition my hair 35 Need to color my hair 48 Need to have Stefan colour my hair 66 Need to have Stefan colour my wig

AGE FAVOURITE SPORT 17 shopping 25 shopping 35 shopping 48 shopping 66 shopping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "McDonalds" 25 "Free meal" 35 "A diamond" 48 "A bigger diamond" 66 "Home Alone"

AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY 17 tall, dark and handsome 25 tall, dark and handsome with money 35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48 a man with hair 66 a man

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED 17 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66

AGE IDEAL DATE 17 He offers to pay 25 He pays 35 He cooks breakfast the next morning 48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids 66 He can chew breakfast