Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth man was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square, do your stuff!" T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a rectangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He proceeded to divide them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was very smart, also.

However, the chemist said his dog could do even better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly 8 oz. without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was also very smart.

These three men then turned to the government worker and asked, "What can your dog do?"

The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workman's Comp, and went home on sick leave.