Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

If you cross a lion and a tiger, you get a liger. So what do you get if you cross a finch and a duck?

Did you know diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans.

When should you stop having sex? Whenever your money runs out.

What's the only problem with a dyslexic atheist? He doesn't believe in Dog.

What do you get when you mix holy water and castor oil? A religious movement.

What's the one thing that's dirtier than a city dump? Paris Hilton.

What do a vacuum cleaner, dracula, and your ex have in common? They're all things that SUCK.