1. Never put gasoline on a lit candle.

2. Never make fun of Osama Bin Ladin when he's in front of you.

3. Never shoot a police man.

4. Never eat foods that have expired for years.

5. Never use your dog as a chair.

6. Never use a rattlesnake as a belt.

7. Never fart in a spacesuit.

8. Never go to the president and ask to take over America.

9. Never read a Playboy magazine while wearing steel underwear.

10. Never run around naked on the streets when there's rednecks around.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING NEVER TO DO IF YOUR A DUMMY:

11. Always remember the difference between Arnold Schwartzernegger's penis and a peanut. If you don't, you might end up eating something VERY, VERY nasty.