Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.

Little Johnny: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Class: Little Johnny!

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Teacher: Are you chewing gum?

Little Johnny: No, I'm Little Johnny.

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Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?

Little Johnny: I get up early.

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Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?

Little Johnny: Yes, sir.

Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

Little Johnny: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours.

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Little Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not. Little Johnny: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

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Teacher: Why are you late?

Little Johnny: Because of the sign.

Teacher: What sign?

Little Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.

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Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.

Little Johnny: I hope you didn't either.

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Teacher: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.

Father: What's that?

Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

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Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Little Johnny: I is...

Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."

Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."