He Said, She Said

He said: "It's just too hot to wear clothes today. Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn naked?"

She said: "Probably that I married you for your money."

He said: "Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I've want to make love to you really badly."

She said: "Well, you've succeeded."

He said: "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I give you?"

She said: "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."

He said: "Let's try swapping positions tonight?"

She said: "Fine. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."