60 California residents put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 Miami residents turn on the heat

45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 You can see your breath California residents shiver uncontrollably Minnesota residents go swimming

35 Italian cars don't start

32 Water freezes

30 You plan your vacation to Australia

25 Ohio water freezes California residents weep pitiably Minnesota residents eat ice cream Canadians go swimming

20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 French cars don't start Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 American cars don't start

0 Alaska residents put on T-shirts

-10 German cars don't start Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansas residents stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Minnesota residents shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don't start

-25 Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 You plan a two-week hot bath Swedish cars don't start

-40 California residents disappear Minnesota residents button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50 Congressional hot air freezes Alaska residents close the bathroom window

-80 Hell freezes over Polar bears move South Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game

AND AT:

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets....